"All I've ever cared about was video games and they made me a millionaire. So maybe I don't know what the Civil War was, or who invented the helicopter even though I own one, but I did beat The Legend of Zelda before I could walk. I'm thinking about getting metal legs. It's a risky operation, but it'll be worth it."
"How do you two know each other?"
"I woke him up here this morning. He fell asleep working late last night."
"Yeah. Well, that's what old people do. They fall asleep."
"Wow J.P, that is a great outfit. How much do clothes cost in The Matrix?"
"So funny I forgot to laugh. Ehehe."
"Anyway, I was wondering if maybe I could crash here for a while.
"Whoa, I don't know, man. I got a business to run. This is like my office as well as my home. Plus, the lion comes in a couple days."
"You're getting a lion?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"To protect my shit."
"Never heard of a dog?"
"Dude, you can get past a dog. Nobody fucks with a lion."
"Yeah, that's true."
"My grandma drank all my pot."
"That's awesome."
"What?"
"I mean, how many people can say that in a lifetime?"
"I hate your face.
"Did you say something? ...You're fuckin' weird."
"...How did he see me?"
"My name is J.P. I am a robot. I have a robot vagina."
