"Are you saying that nobody in New York will work with me?"
"No, no, that's too limited... nobody in Hollywood wants to work with you either. I can't even set you up for a commercial. You played a *tomato* for 30 seconds - they went a half a day over schedule because you wouldn't sit down."
"Of course. It was illogical."
"YOU WERE A TOMATO. A tomato doesn't have logic. A tomato can't move."
"That's what I said. So if he can't move, how's he gonna sit down, George? I was a stand-up tomato: a juicy, sexy, beefsteak tomato. Nobody does vegetables like me. I did an evening of vegetables off-Broadway. I did the best tomato, the best cucumber... I did an endive salad that knocked the critics on their ass."
"I'd like to make her look a little more attractive, how far can you pull back?"
"How do you feel about Cleveland?"
"Knock it off."
"I'm afraid you're not right for this role. Thanks for coming by."
"Why am I not right, Mister Carlisle?"
"I'm trying to make a certain statement and I'm looking for a specific physical type."
"Mr. Carlisle, I'm an actress. I'm a character actress. I can play it any way you want."
"I'm sure you're a very good actress. It's just that you're not threatening enough."
"Not threatening enough? Listen, you take your hands off me or I'll knee your balls right through the roof of your mouth! Is that enough of a threat?"
"It's a start."
"Oh I know what y'all really want is some gross, caricature of a woman to prove some idiotic point that power makes a woman masculine, or masculine women are ugly. Well shame on you for letting a man do that, or any man that does that. That means you, dear. Miss Marshall. Shame on you, you macho shit head."
"You should have seen the look on her face when she thought I was a lesbian."
"Lesbian"? You just said gay."
"No, no, no - SANDY thinks I'm gay, JULIE thinks I'm a lesbian."
"I thought Dorothy was supposed to be straight?"
"Dorothy IS straight. Tonight Les, the sweetest, nicest man in the world asked me to marry him."
"A guy named Les wants YOU to marry him?"
"No, no, no - he wants to marry Dorothy."
"Does he know she's a lesbian?"
"Dorothy's NOT a lesbian."
"I know that, does HE know that?"
"Know WHAT?"
"That, er, I... I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't have anything to wear?"
"She has seen me in all of these!
"She hasn't seen you in that white dress"
"What, this?"
"Yeah."
"You cannot wear white to a casual dinner. It's too dressy."
"Can't you wear pants?"
"Pants?"
"What about this thing?"
"No. I don't have the right shoes for it, I don't like the way the horizontal lines make me look to hippy, and it cuts me across the bust."
"I think we're getting into a weird area here."
"I miss Dorothy."
"You don't have to. She's right here. And she misses you. Look, you don't know me from Adam. But I was a better man with you, as a woman... than I ever was with a woman, as a man. You know what I mean? I just gotta learn to do it without the dress. At this point, there might be an advantage to my wearing pants. The hard part's over, you know? We were already... good friends."
