"We all start off in life with a dream, don't we? For a tennis player, it's being in the final of a Grand Slam, Centre Court, a high lob... a smash. Game, set and match. You're a champion. You're number one. But for most tennis players, that's all it ever is: a dream. The reality is another story. My story. Now, you see that good-looking fella? No, no that kid in white, the other tired good-looking fella. Yeah, him. Well, that's me. British Davis Cup, long time ago. Two singles titles, even longer ago. Presently ranked 119th in the world. Sport is cruel. I know it doesn't sound too bad: four million tennis players in the world and I'm the 119th, but what that really means is this: 118 guys out there are faster, stronger, better and younger... and it gets you thinking. These young guys: where do they get the energy, the focus? No fear. The one thing you can't have is fear, and for the first time in my life, I'm afraid. Not of losing. I'm not even afraid of the kid. I'm afraid of what happens if that ball keeps going by me. What happens than?"
"Presently ranked 119th in the world. Sport is cruel. Now I know it doesn't sound too bad. Four million tennis players in the world, and I'm 119th. But what that really means is this - 118 guys out there are faster, stronger, better and younger. And it gets you thinking."
"Hit this one, and I'll sleep with you. ....Too bad. You could've used the workout."
"Where do you come down on the whole "fooling around before a match" issue?"
"Well, that's a very intriguing question."
"Cause I think a little fooling around can be really good for your game. You know, help you relax."
"Um, I'm not sure I've done enough research to have a definitive opinion."
"That's very sad."
"Yes, it is, isn't it."
"It is... very sad..."
"Don't get me wrong: I'm very interested in doing the necessary research. Very interested in in doing the necessary research. Are you?"
"Good thing you didn't get the wrong window."
"I did, but your dad's a very quick shag."
"I thought you'd gone."
"Me too. Having a tough day?"
"Oh you know, disastrous."
"Except for the fact you didn't go gooey when the ball boy got hit."
"Why are you British apologizing all the time? Don't apologize to me, I love you. Apologize to all the fans out there who are rooting for you."
"What did you say?"
"I said all those people..."
"No, before that."
"I said I love you."
"Well that's very good news. I thought I was all alone in the love department."
"It turns out you've got company."