"Ay, ay, ay! If I wanna hear you talk, I'll shove my arm up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet!"
"No, I don't like you. I think you're a fake cop. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds feminine. If you were in the wild, I would attack you, even if you weren't in my food chain. I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you and then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend."
"OK, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean. Lions don't like water. If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that make sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10. And guess what, you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated and said 'You know what, lion tastes good, let's go get some more lion'. We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring."
"How you gonna do that?"
"We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time. An hour...Hour forty-five...No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get some more oxygen, and stalk you. You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and out-manned. ....Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? Nope."
…LOL…..this is tooo great!
"I'm like a peacock, you gotta let me fly!"
"Hey, I did my first desk pop!"
"You won't shoot me."
"I shot Jeter!"
"That was an accident!"
"You know what, I'm going to hang onto the wooden gun."
"To give me back my real gun?"
"No. I'm going to give you this... It's a rape whistle. You blow that if you're in any trouble, and someone with an actual gun will come and help you out."
"What is this?"
"Its my car, Its a Prius."
"I feel like we're literally driving around in a vagina."